It’s hard to imagine the words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” appearing anywhere in a magazine.
Yet, when you are living in a relationship, there is a real risk that your friends, family, and even the people you spend time with will not appreciate how much you value them.
We’ve been there, and we’ve seen it happen to so many people.
And for women, it can be incredibly devastating.
So here are some simple tips to help you stay on top of your friends and family when you’ve lost your partner.
Keep it simple and honest This can be tough.
For women, many relationships are more about the physical intimacy and personal connection than the sexual ones.
So what can you do?
Make sure you are honest about how your relationship is going and whether you’re happy and satisfied.
“It’s okay to admit that you feel frustrated, disappointed, or lonely, because you are.
But it’s okay not to share your feelings,” says Samantha Gagnon, a personal trainer and author of The Relationship Masterclass.
If you do want to share a story of hurt, it’s best to share it privately, and talk about how you feel.
It’s okay if you feel like you are constantly in the spotlight, and you should also talk about what you do or don’t do to stay positive and present in your relationship.
“Be clear about what makes you happy and who you’re attracted to,” says Laura Smith, a registered clinical social worker and cofounder of LovelyLovely.
“This can be anything from a shared appreciation for your partner, a love of your body, or a desire to make other people happy.”
If you’re having trouble getting past your own feelings about your relationship, take some time to think about what your friends are thinking about you.
“Acknowledge that it’s not you,” says Smith.
“If you’re feeling lonely, talk to someone else.”
Find a way to keep each other together If you are dating a person you have an intense, sometimes violent, sexual attraction to, don’t fall into the trap of letting someone you feel guilty about being with into your relationship without talking to them about it first.
“Instead of being like, ‘I wish I could go on a date with her,’ or ‘I think we should get married someday,’ just let her know that you love her,” says Gagnons.
“You don’t have to talk to them, but they can be part of your future.”
Talk to your partner about what’s going on in your life and how you’re responding to it.
For example, you may feel like your partner has been jealous or has made you feel uncomfortable, and they may even be jealous of you.
If they have a point, it could help you figure out how to move forward with your relationship if you decide to break it up.
“Sometimes you’re just too scared to say, ‘No, that’s not what I feel like doing,’ and it just feels like the wrong thing to do,” Smith says.
“Try to get to know the other person and see if you can find common ground or ways to move on without having to tell them everything.”
If they are open and honest, they may have the courage to listen and see your point of view.
“Just don’t try to force your feelings onto them,” says Harris.
“Don’t try and make them feel guilty.
Don’t try your best to be like them.
It can feel really isolating to feel like everyone has an agenda.”
Make your relationship work If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to be open to the possibility that they will change or be replaced by someone else.
“Everyone has different desires, needs, and goals for their relationship,” says Emma Eagan, a certified personal trainer.
“That doesn’t mean they won’t have fun, but you have no control over whether or not they will, so be careful not to make yourself feel like they will.”
Be honest about what they want and why they are doing it.
“For some people, they will have a desire that is a lot more about what it’s like to have sex with someone other than who they are, so they will try to make their partner into a sexual object,” says Eagan.
If that’s the case, they can make it clear that it isn’t something you should be looking for.
“I think that people are very good at knowing what they like, and if someone says, ‘Hey, I love to get fucked,’ and that is their definition of what it is, that is OK,” says Brown.
“But I think people are also very good about not making that definition the same for everyone.”
Make the time to be there for each other If you don’t see each other often, you might be missing out on what could be a long-term commitment.
“The best way to be in love with someone is